My Lord and My God…

I admit I never set out to write Modern Day Bible Stories…it was not my idea that got me where I am today. I hadn’t even read the Bible all the way  through and when God hit me with the thought, “you should write a modern day novel based on the Book of Job” (which later became my first published book, The Faithful One) I thought in reply, “What?!” At times along my journey I have felt totally unqualified, even fraudulent. I have asked myself and God, “Who am I to re-imagine Bible stories into contemporary novels?” But since He has kept nudging me, I finally surrendered to His will. And three books later (I’m writing my fourth), I have come to believe that this is truly God’s plan for me, and I’m okay with that. In fact, I have come to love this calling of mine.

Still, I am a “doubting Michele” at times when things aren’t happening fast enough and to my liking with my author career.  Have I been obedient or faithful through the journey over the past several years? Hardly. In fact, although I research each book on which I’m writing, I am finally just now finishing reading the Bible cover to cover (I got stuck a few times on books like Numbers and Leviticus). But, like Thomas in yesterday’s Gospel reading, I have made some progress in my faith. So I will choose to focus not only on Thomas’ belief following his doubt, but on the Gospel writer’s call to all of us to continue to believe even when we doubt too: “Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.”  Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here, and see my hands; and put out your hand, and place it in my side. Do not disbelieve, but believe.”  Thomas answered him, “My Lord and my God!” Jesus said to him, “Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”(John 20:26-29)

A friend of mine was recently quoting the Bible and I must admit, although I do know several Bible passages and where to find them, I am still not a Bible whiz. But Thomas’ response has replayed itself inside my head over time, especially recently…for example, when I’m taking Holy Communion, when kneeling in awe before the cross like on Holy Friday, and right now, in meditating about my recent doubts and realizing, God is still here…and has been there all along…supporting me in this calling, in this author journey. And so I hope you pray with me, with hope, faith and love, “My Lord and My God!